<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>You're the one, Lee (always) by softnajmin</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27571060">You're the one, Lee (always)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/softnajmin/pseuds/softnajmin'>softnajmin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hinted Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Hospitalization, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Medical Condition, Memory Loss, Minor Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le, Mutual Pining, Physical Therapy, Pining, Slow Burn, emotional breakdown, mention of head injury</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:41:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27571060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/softnajmin/pseuds/softnajmin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaemin knows Jeno will wake up tomorrow and not remember how they used to be, but can you blame him for grasping at the hope that Jeno will? Reality is cruel like this. What they had was beautiful, is beautiful, and hopefully in the future they can make it beautiful yet again. (if they're both willing, please let them be willing)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>'00 FIC FEST ROUND TWO</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You're the one, Lee (always)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>prompt #00151</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A cool gust of wind brushes past the two boys' intertwined hands. Jaemin feels goosebumps arise on the exposed skin of his hand that makes their way up his arm. As a response, he tightens his grip on Jeno's hand to steal just a little more of the other boy's warmth. This additional pressure garners Jeno's attention from where he was looking up ahead at the street, down towards their interlocked hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin notices the way Jeno's eyes seem to disappear behind the smile now adorning his face as they look over at each other. It's these insignificant moments that truly make Jaemin happy. He's never been too much for large and showy romantic gestures. Jaemin believes it's the small things that really matter, the little gestures, when someone remembers a detail about him, the subtle things outsiders wouldn't notice. He is filled to the top with love to give, and Jeno is always there to accept it. Jaemin is grateful he gets to see Jeno's smile every day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He notices the way Jeno squeezes his hand back, as if sending him a silent 'I love you'. Jeno lightly nudges his shoulder against Jaemin's. Jaemin's train of thought gets lost in everything that is Jeno, that is until a rather loud voice calls out Jaemin's name and then soon after Jeno’s name too. It's a male voice Jaemin has heard plenty of times since the start of his and Jeno's relationship, and a voice he could recognize anywhere. Doyoung.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung is Jeno's older brother. He's also the first person who put the puzzle pieces together regarding the nature of Jaemin and Jeno’s relationship status. The looks that lingered a little longer than normal on each other. The sudden peak of interest when the other would be mentioned in conversation. The gradually decreased proximity of personal space between the two. Doyoung had to admit that it was beyond cute and also entertaining watching the two around each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jeno! Jaemin!" Doyoung's voice rings out again. The two aforementioned boys slow their strides as they both look back towards the familiar voice. Their hands still securely intertwined as they look. Doyoung quickens his pace to catch up to them. He holds his work bag closer to his side under his arm until he has arrived at Jeno’s side. The three now regain a normal and acceptable walking pace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung snakes he’s free arm around Jeno’s shoulders and squeezed the boy’s shoulder. It's a gesture filled with warmth, and it makes Jeno pick his attention up from the concrete beneath their feet and onto Doyoung's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Before I even start, don't get too mad at me, okay?" Doyoung questions and pauses, studying Jeno's face with a grave look growing over his own features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adjusting his hand in Jaemin’s hand, Jeno leans into his brother's touch and responds, "I can't make any promises." To this, Jaemin lets out an amused noise at the two's interaction as he looks between Jeno and Doyoung. Jaemin has always admired Jeno's older brother. Considering that Jaemin is an only child, Doyoung gladly and pretty easily molded into an older brother like role for him. Doyoung wants the best for both of the younger boys and especially for their relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Doyoung squeezes Jeno into the side of his body, earning a groan of protest from him, and continues “I can’t make it to our dinner tonight” Jaemin notices the apprehensive pause Doyoung takes before the said man brings his eyes back up to Jeno’s face to gauge his reaction. From what Jaemin can see, it's not all that good of a reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno uses his free hand to push off Doyoung’s hand and arm from across his shoulders. The disregarded arm falls limply back at Doyoung’s side. Jaemin quickens his walking pace a little to both let the woman walking towards them on the sidewalk past them and to get a glance at Jeno’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re kidding, right? You said you’d be able to make it this time, that you, and I quote, ‘will be able to get off earlier tonight.’ So why not anymore?” Jeno interrogates Doyoung with a displeased look that would burn holes into Doyoung if it could. Jaemin brings his free hand to his and Jeno’s intertwined hands and wraps up Jeno’s hand with soothing strokes from his thumb across the top of it. Jaemin says nothing, figuring this conversation was best left between the two of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” Doyoung begins and Jaemin notices the look in his eyes like he’s making sure he's carefully picking the words he wants to say as to not set Jeno off further and he continues, “It’s not like it was my choice. Kun called a last-minute meeting regarding some details of the report we’re working on before we complete it. I have to be there.” The three stop walking when they reach the street corner that's already dotted with various other people and wait for the green little person to appear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always bail on me.” Jeno comments, voice quieter than their previous conversation but still audible and laced with despondency and unsurprised ness. Jaemin would be lying if he said that didn’t pull at his heart a bit, but he brushes the feeling away and continues to hold Jeno’s hand securely within his own. The chatter of the people around them and the discord of various cars driving past where they stand on the corner nearly drowns out the sigh that escapes Doyoung’s mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I don’t do it on purpose.” Doyoung replies before he's looking down at his watch and back up between Jeno and Jaemin. Jaemin gives Doyoung a small smile when their eyes meet. Doyoung continues, “Next time we will, I one hundred percent, definitely, absolutely promise. But right now, I need to be getting to this meeting.” Doyoung looks down at the watch on his wrist once again before he’s bringing in Jeno for a hug. Jeno lets Doyoung hug him with little resistance, although Jeno doesn’t exactly hug him back, it’s more like a perfunctory pat on Doyoung’s back. Whether that dampens Doyoung’s mood, Jaemin can’t quite tell. Doyoung’s facial expressions flicker by in the blink of an eye. Doyoung is hugging Jaemin, bidding him a goodbye too and nimbly retreating back the way they had just come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin watches Doyoung’s back retreat as he weaves his way through the various people on the sidewalk for a few seconds until he can no longer see the man. Jaemin’s attention is brought back to Jeno when he feels a set of lips come in contact with the top of his hand. The action sends a wave of heat to Jaemin’s cheeks. He tightens his grip on Jeno’s hand as if Jeno would float away if he held it any lighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Doyoung bails on me, yet again, and now you’re trying to strangle the life out of my hand. What have I done to warrant this bad karma?” Jeno questions in a bleak tone, but the crack of a smile across his lips lets Jaemin know that Jeno’s just teasing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My bad, you're just so lovely. I could just love you to death!" Jaemin exclaims in a cutesy tone, cradling his face between his palms and fitting himself into Jeno's side. Jaemin turns his head from side to side, never breaking away from Jeno's eyes. He notices the pink tint that arises onto Jeno's cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? Am I embarrassing you, Nono?!" Jaemin questions in his almost unbearably cute tone. Jaemin adores teasing Jeno. He could spend all day watching Jeno's eyes shift around, avoiding his own, watching the pink tint creep onto the apples of his cheeks, and watching his feeble attempts to get Jaemin to stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group of people around them at the corner move out into the street, some nearly running across while others simply walk, usually engrossed within their own worlds. Jaemin is engrossed within Jeno and everything about him. Jeno, on the other hand, noticed the change from the red hand to the little green man and the new motion around them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin soon feels Jeno's arm slung over his shoulders, pulling him closer into his side if that could even be possible. Jaemin is pulled forward into the crosswalk with Jeno. He finally looks away from Jeno's face and to his surroundings and is pleased they're finally moving. Although Jaemin gets pulled back into Jeno when he finally speaks up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're really something Na, really something." Jaemin can still see the color on Jeno's cheeks and the new upward tilt of the corners of his mouth. Within the time it takes the two to reach the other side of the crosswalk, Jaemin admires Jeno's features. Jaemin figures Jeno must feel his eyes on him, so Jeno turns his head towards Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you starting at?" Jeno questions to which Jaemin doesn't respond with words but rather a chaste kiss on the lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You." Jaemin responds after separating from Jeno and wraps an arm around Jeno's waist. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Upon entering the lobby of their apartment building, Jaemin’s phone vibrates in his free hand. It startles him a bit, but he wastes no time in checking it. The caller ID ‘Hyuck’ with a sparkle emoji at the end of his nickname lights up his phone screen. Jaemin smiles at the thought of his best friend and answers the call before it could ring a third time. He cautiously brings the phone up to his ear, holding it a little ways away from his ear, preparing for the boisterous greeting he's about to receive. Donghyuck has always been a grand person, in all the things he does. Jaemin swears he only has two settings, quiet and ear-splitting. Although, he will admit that he does like loud Donghyuck a little more than quiet Donghyuck, but Donghyuck need not know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nana! What’s up?!” Donghyuck’s booming voice travels through the phone and grabs both Jaemin and Jeno’s attention. The sudden addition of noise to the otherwise quiet lobby makes the lady behind the front desk throw a questioning look their way. Jeno speaks a humdrum apology on behalf of all three of them and they enter the confined space of the elevator.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin puts Donghyuck on speaker now that they're away from other people. Jaemin leans against the wall beside Jeno, while said boy presses the number four to get to their floor. Jeno returns to Jaemin’s side and puts his arm around the boy's shoulders, peering down at Jaemin’s phone screen, making sure Donghyuck is still there. Because the two boys have not responded to Donghyuck yet, they hear a high pitched whiny noise throughout the elevator from Jaemin’s phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello Hyuck!” Jeno responds to the noise, earning a yell of his name and a ‘hello’ in return. Jeno and Jaemin exchange amused looks before another voice, less boisterous than Donghyuck’s voice rings out. Donghyuck must have added Renjun to the call when the two other boys were preoccupied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m here too!” Renjun makes his presence known and they exchange greetings again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how are we feeling about a boy's night at the lovebirds apartment at around six?” Donghyuck throws out the question, getting straight to the point of his call. Again, before responding, Jeno and Jaemin exchange looks. They communicate through gestures, Jeno raises his eyebrows to which Jaemin counters with a raise of his shoulders and a small smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re both down for it.” Jeno responds and a chorus of delighted sounds answers Jeno’s statement. The ding of the elevator mixes in with the noises of their celebration. Jeno and Jaemin take their exit from the elevator and begin their walk down the mundane halfway to their door. As a precaution, Jaemin turns down the volume of the call a couple notches just until they reach their apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun suggests a movie night to which each of the boys agrees to. Although the suggestion leads to Jaemin and Donghyuck bickering over which movie they are going to watch. Jeno tries to placate them by pointing out that they can watch more than one movie because they're definitely not going to sleep anytime soon. Though he’s told that, ‘the movie they watch first is a very important decision and it needs to be this one’. ‘No, this one!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno accepts defeat in this debate because Jaemin and Donghyuck could bicker for hours if you let them. Instead, he opts for tuning them out for the time being and fishes the key out of his pocket, unlocking the door and playfully pushing Jaemin in. Jaemin makes a B-Line towards the couch and lays out in a starfish position, still debating with Donghyuck. Jeno closes the door and hears the sound of Renjun’s laughter interspersed in the conversation. It brings a smile to Jeno’s face as he pushes Jaemin’s legs over to sit beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>About two minutes later they hear a knock at their door and Renjun’s voice, both over the phone and over at the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here, come let me in!” Renjun requests, dragging out his last word as he presumably hangs up on the call. Jeno wastes no time in letting the boy into their home. Renjun greets Jeno with a smile and migrates over to the kitchen, supposedly not interested in listening to the banter in the living room area anymore. Jeno decides to follow him to the kitchen, figuring he should get some snacks ready for the night ahead of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t take long for the peaceful atmosphere around Jeno and Renjun within the kitchen to be interrupted by Jaemin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jeno babe, I need food so I don't hurt Donghyuck's feelings, could you bring me the M&amp;M’s." Jaemin calls out in an amused tone. Before Jeno could even respond, Donghyuck’s voice responds, "We'll see about that Na, I'll destroy you"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter erupts in all the boys and Jeno walks over to their snack cabinet in search for M&amp;M’s for his cute boy in the other room. His search comes up empty though as he shifts around the packages of various other snacks. He decides he’ll just make a quick trip to the convenience store and pick up a few packs. Jeno grabs his phone from the counter and slips it into his pocket. He kisses the top of Jaemin’s head as he walks by the back of the couch and tells him they don’t have M&amp;M’s so he’s going to get some. Jaemin grabs a hold of Jeno's hand before he can get too far away. He pulls Jeno back to him and uses his other hand to place on the back of his neck and pulls him down into a kiss. Jeno is caught by surprise at first but quickly recovers and leans closer into Jaemin's lips. The kiss comes to an end when Jaemin's lips turn into a wide smile and a string of giggles escape from Jaemin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're amazing." Jeno states, their foreheads still pressed together and their noses almost touching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, now you can go get me some M&amp;M's pretty boy." Jaemin replies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey! No making out you two, no PDA! I don't want to listen to you two kiss!" Donghyuck teases the two boys, still on speaker phone and continues, "I'm like five minutes away by the way."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck receives three okays in return before Jeno is pushing Jaemin back into his lying position on the couch. He then grabs his apartment key from off of the coffee table and leaves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minutes later, Donghyuck arrives, and Renjun lets him into the apartment. He engulfs Renjun into a hug, which Renjun surprisingly accepts and returns the same energy back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Donghyuck and Jaemin's eyes meet, Jaemin is already preparing himself because he can see the other boy's eyes widen and a devilish grin grow across his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck wastes no time in running over to Jaemin, who's still laying on the couch and pouncing on him. He takes Jaemin's face between his hands and squishes it around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nana! Cute little Nana! Look at your annoyingly cute face, Nana!" Donghyuck repeats with a slew of other slightly questionable compliments and other loving sentiments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jeno needs to come back quick, we need another normal person to balance out with you two weirdos." Renjun comments from where he's sat in the chair catty corner from the couch, watching his two friends.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Ten minutes seems to tick by with little notice from either of the three boys. Renjun is entranced by some game on his phone, only breaking his gaze from the game to add in a few comments to the conversation Donghyuck and Jaemin are having. Donghyuck, at first, broke off to scavenge through Jeno and Jaemin’s kitchen for something to eat, that is, after Jaemin had finally been able to successfully pry the other boy from himself. The aforementioned boy returns with a sleeve of graham crackers and a can of soda in hand. When he enters the room again, he sees Renjun look up from his game and between the graham crackers in his hand and his face, so Donghyuck offers the boy some of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun pulls a tooth rotting grin as he thanks Donghyuck and reaches out to the plastic package but it's pulled just out of his reach. His smile flattens, and he eyes Donghyuck’s face only to be met with a smug grin, and the package of graham crackers are pushed towards the direction of Renjun again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oops, looks like you were a little too slow that time Jun.” Donghyuck comments and Renjun nearly wants to snatch the entire pack from the boy and eat them all himself. This time when Renjun reaches, Donghyuck doesn’t move them away and actually lets him take a few of the crackers. Satisfied with the transaction, Renjun breaks one of the graham crackers in half and then again before slotting the piece in his mouth and giving Donghyuck a thumbs up. This earns a chuckle out of Jaemin and soon both Renjun and Donghyuck are looking at the said boy. Jaemin notices a slight pink tint to Donghyuck’s cheeks and smiles to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck makes his way over to where Jaemin sits. He instinctively sits right beside Jaemin, figuring there's no need to leave an empty space between him and one of his best friends. Donghyuck and Jaemin are both very touchy people, so all in all neither really mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want one of my graham crackers too?" With a hum at the end of his inquiry, Donghyuck scoots over into Jaemin's side and holds up the food item in question in front of Jaemin's face. Jaemin looks at the graham cracker for a few seconds, which reminds him of his request for M&amp;M's and Jeno's leave to get them for him. Jeno. Jaemin wonders why he isn't back yet. After all, the nearest convenience store is about a three-minute walk from their apartment, unless Jeno went to a different one. Jaemin quickly dismisses that thought considering it's getting dark outside and they have things planned for the night. It's strange. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a shake of his head and a simple ‘nope’, Jaemin watches the graham cracker move away from his face and meet its end as Donghyuck takes a bite out of the corner. Jaemin debates whether he should call Jeno to make sure he's on his way back or not. He furrows his eyebrows together and can tell Donghyuck takes notice to it. The aforementioned boy is now sitting criss cross facing Jaemin's side, somewhat leaning forward in front of Jaemin to get a better view of his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you thinking about?" Donghyuck questions, taking another bite of his snack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just wondering what’s taking Jeno so long to get back. I mean, there’s a Seven-Eleven not too far down the street, so it shouldn’t take him that long, right? It’s been about thirteen minutes since he left.” With a growing sense of curiosity swirled with a tinge of worry, Jaemin lets his friends in on the thoughts swimming around in his mind. Donghyuck lets a hum slip from his lips to let Jaemin know he’s listening. Jaemin can tell Donghyuck is thinking through various soothing sentiments, and Jaemin appreciates it more than Donghyuck could imagine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe he got distracted and is buying more than just M&amp;M’s,” Donghyuck offers and adds on, “He might be on his way back right now or he’s just walking obnoxiously slow.” All three of them laugh at that because that is something Jeno would do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could always call him to check, what harm could it do?” Renjun suggests holding his phone up to show that he already has Jeno’s contact pulled up and dialing. Renjun puts it on speaker and holds it out so it sort of is in the middle of the three of them. The call rings once, twice, thrice, and finally a fourth time before going to the robotic voice of the default voicemail message. They don't leave a message, Renjun hanging up just a few seconds into the voicemail message.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dropping his phone into his lap, Renjun leans back into the chair before he speaks, "Well, I think he'd be more likely to answer a call from Nana than from me or Hyuck."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Jaemin wastes no time in pulling up Jeno's contact in his phone and pressing the call button. He's hopeful as the first ringing tone reaches his ears. Jaemin mimics Renjun's previous actions of putting the call on speaker and holding the phone out between them. It's rung three times now and Jaemin can't help how his eyes jump from the phone screen, to Renjun's face, to Donghyuck's face, and then back to the phone. The fourth and finally ring sounds out and soon to follow the voicemail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin and Renjun make Donghyuck also go through the motions of calling Jeno, but he's no more successful than their first two attempts. Now worry is really starting to set into Jaemin's body. It's now 6:27 pm. It's getting darker outside by the minute it seems, at least to Jaemin, and it's been a couple of minutes since their trio of calls and not a single call back has come, not even a text. Jaemin doesn't want to assume something bad has happened, but his current situation is set up so perfectly to do just that. It's not like Jeno to just ignore his friends, especially his boyfriend. Jaemin can't help but worry. He knows his anxiety won't be soothed until he can see Jeno with his own two eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before the winding vines of worry and anxiety can wrap themselves too tightly around Jaemin's bones, Renjun tries to placate the rising tension within the room and Jaemin. "He'll be back, let's not jump to the worst conclusions yet."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun offers a reassuring smile that he hopes only he can tell is backed only half heartedly. Jaemin has come to appreciate Renjun's ability to remain level-headed in many stressful and unpredictable situations. Renjun is their rock and Jaemin, Donghyuck, and Jeno are the mosses that grow on him, keeping each other company. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's as if Renjun's reassurance jinxes something within the world and Jaemin's phone, which he hasn't let out of his hand, rings. The noise surprises Jaemin the most. He jumps a little in his seat, but he's still quick to read the caller ID. It's not Jeno. Jaemin is disappointed, to say the least. Instead of Jeno, it's Doyoung's name printed on his screen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He answers the call with dark clouds floating into his mind. It's quite on Doyoung's end, like he's preoccupied with something and hasn't noticed that Jaemin answered the call. Jaemin can hear the murmur of various voices. He can tell there are a lot of emotions behind the words, even if he can't hear them clearly. It seems as though Renjun and Donghyuck can feel the tense shift of energy along with Jaemin because they all exchange bemused looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey... Doyoung?" Jaemin tries to make his presence known, along with Renjun and Donghyuck who throw out irresolute greetings. The murmuring voices in the background seem to die down as Doyoung seems to acknowledge that the call has been connected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jaemin." Doyoung just says his name but the way he says it sends a shiver throughout the aforementioned boy. The three again share looks of mixed emotion and Donghyuck offers up a consoling look as he nudges Jaemin’s arm with his elbow. But before Jaemin can even respond with anything, Doyoung is speaking again. Doyoung’s voice this time is more calm but it’s still pretty frantic and distraught sounding no matter how much he tries to mask his real emotions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin, please tell me you’re with someone else right now, you can’t be alone right now.” This strikes a nerve in Jaemin, making his body become stiff. What is he supposed to say to that? Jaemin can see Renjun sit up straighter out of his peripheral vision. Donghyuck stays quiet beside Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doyoung, slow down, you’re scaring me. I’m not alone. I’m with Renjun and Donghyuck, but what is that supposed to mean?” Jaemin responds after processing the rapid fire words Doyoung had just said. They all can hear the unintentional sigh of relief that Doyoung lets out. Jaemin is not sure if this action does anything to calm his nerves or make him even more nervous. What could possibly be going on that has the normally calm and collected Doyoung all stressed and tense?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin has the many questions circulating his mind pretty quickly answered. “It’s Jeno. He’s hurt, it's serious Jaemin.” They’re seven simple words, but it feels like they each weigh a ton on Jaemin’s shoulders. Jaemin knew he should have trusted his gut feeling the minute he had felt Jeno had been gone too long. Jaemin bashes himself for letting Jeno go by himself. He should have not even asked for Jeno to go out when he knew it was getting dark. Why did he have to be so focused on himself in that moment to not think about the danger he could be putting Jeno in? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin doesn't realize tears are escaping from his eye until a pair of warm hands are at each side of his face, diligently wiping away at every salty drop that leaves his eyes. The dark storm clouds in his mind brought with them a relentless rain of what if's and accusations that made Jaemin lost in his thoughts. He also didn’t notice that his phone is now in Renjun’s hands, pressed up to his ear, eyes closed, listening intently. Jaemin moves his eyes to the face that belongs to the hands on his cheeks, Donghyuck has always been there for him and right now wouldn’t be any different. Donghyuck pulls Jaemin’s head down to rest on his shoulder and Jaemin’s body into his own, tightly embracing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin figures Donghyuck must have started crying too, feeling a stray drop fall onto his forehead. Donghyuck waiting until he made sure Jaemin was comforted and safe before he let his own tears fall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin tries to focus only on Renjun’s voice as he starts talking to him. “Doyoung is going to come pick us up and take us to the hospital Jeno is at. He said Jeno is currently in stable condition, but he said it would be better to tell us the rest of the details in person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin just nods at Renjun, not trusting his voice at the current moment and not entirely sure he even wants to talk right now. He balls his body up as small as he can, his head resting on top of his knees. Now it's Donghyuck's turn to rest his head onto Jaemin's shoulder as he tries to lend his friend some comfort by rubbing up and down his arm. In no time Renjun joins them, nestling into Jaemin's other side. Renjun wraps an arm around Jaemin's back, leaving his finger to rest over Donghyuck's side in an effort to comfort both of his friends at the same time. He knew they needed him to be strong right now, but he also knew they wouldn't hold it against him if he broke too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's quiet for a few moments, save for the tears and sniffles. Renjun takes one of Jaemin's hands in his, thumbing over the bare skin. Jaemin holds onto Renjun's hand quite tightly, like if he didn't hold on to him tight enough he might slip away and get hurt too. Jaemin knew he couldn't bear the weight of being the cause of pain to two of his friends. His mind snatches this thought up and doesn't hesitate to run him down a dark train of thought. He figures that clearly this is hurting all of his friends and technically he was the only reason Jeno had gone out, so putting two and two together, he actually did hurt all of his friends at the same time. Coming to this conclusion produces a strangled sob that fights out of him and makes Donghyuck slightly jump at his side. Donghyuck quickly recovers though, not wanting his moment of surprise to make Jaemin feel any worse than he already does, and fits himself back into Jaemin's side. Renjun begins to voice a hushed slew of reassuring comments. One of which stood out most to Jaemin and nearly made him let out another sob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's going to be okay, he has to be, he's our Jeno."</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The car ride to the hospital is somberly quiet. Doyoung makes sure Jaemin sits in the front seat so he can keep an eye on him. At a red light, Doyoung steals a glance in Jaemin's direction. The said boy has his hands in his lap, fiddling with his fingers, his eyes watery and red, watching the various lights in the dark through the window. Doyoung feels the heavy feeling in his chest grow as he sees a tear slip down Jaemin's cheek. The light turns green and they begin to move again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Before we get there," Doyoung begins, glancing in Jaemin's direction and then to the rear-view mirror to make sure all three boys are listening to him, "You guys need to know that Jeno had a pre-existing brain aneurysm that was fine, until he tripped and hit his head, which caused it to rupture. The doctors have assured us they were able to get him stable for now." They reach another red light and Doyoung turns towards the three. He just sits there observing them for a handful of seconds before he speaks again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You also need to know that he could come out of this with permanent brain damage and changes.” When Doyoung takes a pause, Renjun takes the opportunity to tell him the light is green. Doyoung quickly thanks him and begins to drive again, sparing a glance or two at Jaemin again. He's worried for the boy. Come to think of it, through the years that Doyoung has known Jaemin, he’s never seen him cry in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The four arrive at the hospital in no time. They enter through the emergency room wing of the hospital, closely following behind Doyoung like a row of chicks following their mother. The bright fluorescent lights highlighting the seriousness of the many things that go on within these walls. The sharp sterile smell that engulfs them, for some reason placates Jaemin’s nerves just a bit. Jaemin doesn’t question it but he surely appreciates it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They make a left, follow down the hallway until they come to an intersection and this time make a right. Renjun quickens his pace until he’s up to Jaemin’s side and grabs his hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. To distract his mind away from his current reality, Jaemin counts the rooms they pass from their right turn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One room. Two rooms. Three rooms. Four rooms. Five rooms. Six rooms. Doyoung comes to a stop in front of the sixth room that Jaemin counts. Jaemin’s ready as he’ll ever be. Doyoung knocks lightly on the door to announce their arrival before he pushes it open, allowing Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck to walk in before him. Doyoung follows suit after them and closes the door again remaining near it so he doesn’t get in the way of the three younger boys as they take in what is in front of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s eyes first see Jeno and Doyoung’s mother sitting in a chair pushed up against the wall under the window that lines the wall behind her. Her eyes watery and looking up at them when they walk in. Jaemin feels a prickle of fear growing up from his feet and quickly grows and twists around his bones like a vine. He’s afraid she’ll blame him, if he blames himself she probably does too, right? She trusts Jeno, her baby, with him and what does Jaemin do? He goes and gets her baby hurt because of something he wanted. Jaemin can feel the pressure of unreleased tears building up in his eyes. He hasn’t even looked around the room yet and he already feels like sobbing again. He contemplates turning around and sprinting out, sprinting away from this pain, sprinting away from this nearly suffocating room. Donghyuck’s hand on his lower back pulls him down out of his spiral and grounds him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin leans back against Donghyuck’s hand. His eyes shift to Jeno and Doyoung’s dad, who is sitting is a chair pulled up beside their mother. The man offers Jeno’s friends a welcoming smile. They all return it and his attention shifts back to Doyoung behind the three.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room is quiet and Jaemin is scared to take his eyes up from where he’s looking down at the ground to even notice if Jeno is in the room with them. Jaemin sees Renjun and Donghyuck migrate further inside of the room, but he can’t get his feet to carry him over there with them. A tear builds itself up along his lower eyelid and it slips quickly down his cheek. It doesn’t take long for a brigade of other tears to follow. Jaemin’s vision is blurry and he hears chair legs move against the floor while he brings his hands up to his face to try to swipe away the tears that don’t seem to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh Jaemin, it’s okay, come here baby!” Jeno’s mother says before she is engulfing Jaemin in her warm embrace. He really appreciates this woman with all of his heart. Jaemin hugs her back still letting a steady stream of tears fall from his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry!” Jaemin manages to get out through his tears and staggered breaths. Jeno’s mother pulls back from the hug just enough to be able to look at Jaemin’s face. She takes his face in between her hands, using her thumb to swipe away at his tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing to be sorry about, it’s okay to get emotional. You’ve done nothing wrong, Jaemin. This isn’t your fault.” Jeno’s mother tries to soothe Jaemin, trying to assure him it's okay, that things can only come up from here. Jaemin hears her words, but he’s not completely sure he believes them. He’s not sure he can even concentrate on the words right now because his eyes have wandered over to where Jeno’s hospital bed should be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is he?” Jaemin questions, looking between Jeno’s mother and the empty space within the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He needed to go into emergency surgery to stop the bleeding before anything more serious could result from it.” She explains, not only to Jaemin but to Renjun and Donghyuck too, ushering the two aforementioned boys over. “Get over here you two. Group hug! You guys know you are like three other sons to me, so I’ll always be here for you and I know you’ll always be here for us and most importantly Jeno.” She still has tears building in her eyes, making them appear glossy, as she takes the time to look at each of her son's friends. If she holds onto them a bit tighter or longer than a normal hug, none of them bring it up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So when should he be back?” Renjun asks, discreetly fidgeting with the fingers of one of his hands while the other rests firmly on Jaemin's hip. Jaemin doesn't hesitate to lean into the touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They said the operation should take around four hours, if no complications come up." Jaemin watches Mrs. Lee's face as she speaks and notices a tear finally building itself up large enough to fall. Jaemin almost forgets Doyoung is in the room with them until the man is at his mother's side, urging her to sit down again with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three younger boys let the family have some time to themselves and settle in beside each other on the couch that’s pressed up against the wall next to where the others are. Donghyuck stuck himself in the middle of his other two friends. Jaemin takes a second to glance at his phone to check the time. 7:14 pm. Jaemin knows these next four hours are going to feel like an eternity. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jaemin notes that exactly four hours and ten minutes have passed, but Jeno has not been brought back to his room. Donghyuck and Renjun made an effort to distract themselves and Jaemin by playing a game together on their phones. The effort was successful in helping pass an hour. Doyoung even offers to get them something from the vending machine down the hall. Donghyuck doesn't pass the offer up, Renjun nearly passes up until his stomach growls, and Jaemin only takes a few seconds to agree. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two more hours ticked by just like that. Renjun was engaged in a conversation with Mrs. Lee. Donghyuck had fallen asleep against Jaemin's shoulder and Jaemin had done the same against the top of Donghyuck's head. The atmosphere within the room had fallen into a comfortable quiet state, save for the noise from the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither Donghyuck nor Jaemin woke up until they are nudged quite rapidly by Renjun, who still occupies the seat beside them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Guys, wake up. They've brought Jeno back from surgery." Renjun informs the two while still nudging his elbow at Donghyuck's side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn't take long for Jaemin's eyes to shoot open, wide like a cartoon character’s. But just as he does, he's soon thrown into a blinking fit from the new brightness from the lights in the room. Jaemin's thoughts are still fogged over with the lingering touch of sleep as he tries to keep his eyes open long enough to see Jeno. Jaemin ends up rubbing both of his eyes quite vigorously while stretching his back, earning a few pops from his spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room comes into focus quickly after Jaemin removes his hands from his face. His eyes are instantaneously hooked on the bed that now occupies the previously empty space in front of them. Removing Donghyuck’s head from his shoulder, Jaemin joins Jeno’s mother at the side of Jeno’s bed. They both are totally focused on Jeno. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno’s eyes are closed. There’s a small newly forming bruise taking on a distinct red coloring on Jeno’s left cheek. That must be the side he fell on, Jaemin thinks to himself. The rest of his face looks as beautiful as Jaemin remembers Jeno being. He could admire Jeno’s face all day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small portion of Jeno’s dark colored hair is shaved around the line of stitches that flows down the left side of his skull. Jaemin wants to sooth down the rest of Jeno’s hair, as if to let him know that they’re with him and he’s going to be okay, but he decides it’s best not to touch Jeno’s head yet. In fact, Jaemin feels a bit scared to touch Jeno at all. He’s scared he might cause more damage, so he keeps his hands intertwined with one another as he looks over Jeno’s body before returning back to his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno’s mother looks over to Jaemin at her side and follows where his eyes have settled onto her son. She places her free hand over one of Jaemin’s, effectively stopping him from fidgeting anymore. She smiles at Jaemin too. Jaemin feels a growing sense of protection from her gestures. She’s protecting her son. She’s protecting them from any more setbacks. She’s protecting them from the looming darkness of their minds that threatens to snuff out the shine of recovery and future. Jaemin returns the smile as best he can, noticing it’s slightly easier to do than it was four hours ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can touch him if you want, he's not fragile.” She comments, gently guiding Jaemin’s hand to Jeno’s hand that had been resting in her own hand. Jaemin notices a smile growing on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just know that if Jeno was awake right now, he’d be blushing and smiling ear to ear.” Jeno’s mother comments as she looks from their entertained hands to Jaemin's face. Jaemin is a bit surprised to be greeted by the growing smile on Mrs. Lee's face. Jaemin thinks he's definitely lucky to have her in his life, and Jeno is just as lucky to have her as his mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin returns the smile Mrs. Lee gave him and looks back down at Jeno. His heart pangs with guilt and sympathy. Jaemin hopes Jeno is not in pain. Jeno doesn't deserve pain, he deserves kindness and love. He radiates sunshine and gentleness, so why has this happened to him? Jaemin hopes that, although Jeno's currently unconscious, he's dreaming something that's making him happy and keeping his mind occupied. His eyes roam over the outline of the rest of Jeno's body under the blanket. Jaemin makes a mental note that he'll have to bring over Jeno's favorite blanket from their apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin notices the IV stuck in Jeno's arm laying just a few inches in front of him, along with the pulse oximeter attached to his finger. The steady beeping of Jeno's heartbeat from his vitals monitor creates just enough background noise for the room to feel comfortable. Jaemin couldn't bear to sit in a suffocating quiet room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin adjusts Jeno's hand within his. Jeno's skin is on the cooler side and this just makes Jaemin cuddle Jeno's hand within his more closely. Jaemin interlaces their hands as he builds up the courage to finally use his free hand to pat down some strands of Jeno's hair. The strands may now be in place, but Jaemin doesn’t want to move his hand away. He lets it sit there, on top of Jeno’s head, being careful to avoid the stitches. Jaemin hopes Jeno can feel his touch. He hopes that Jeno can, somewhere in his comatosed mind, feel how sorry Jaemin is and how much he loves him. Jaemin moves his hand down from the top of Jeno’s head and towards his cheek, where it settles again. The skin of Jeno’s cheek is soft, save for a few scattered scratches, under Jaemin’s thumb as he gently rubs over it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A doctor knocks on the door and peeks his head in, catching the attention of everyone within the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello, Mrs. Lee, Mr. Lee" the man pauses, making eye contact with each of them and smiling, then continues, "Hello, friends and family too. I'm Dr. Moon. I performed Jeno's aneurysm surgery. Everything went as planned, there were no complications and no other issues arised." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin stays quiet, much like everyone else in the room as Dr. Moon speaks. Jaemin takes in the appearance of the doctor as he's talking. He has a strong presence, his posture straight and his hands clasped together in front of him. Jaemin finds the man's voice friendly and inviting. Despite it being nearly 1 am, Jaemin is impressed that Dr. Moon doesn't look the least bit tired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now let's talk about recovery," Dr. Moon continues. "Jeno should come out of the anesthesia in about half an hour. The nurses' station is just down the hall and they usually make rounds every thirty minutes, if any of you should need anything or Jeno's condition changes." The man's smile radiates through the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"After he wakes up, he'll have frequent headaches, but they'll subside as he recovers. Due to the extent of the bleeding, I am quite certain that he'll have a substantial degree of memory loss." Dr. Moon explains, flicking his eyes between both of Jeno's parents and Jeno himself. Memory loss, Jaemin thinks to himself, those two words snag his attention. They're only been dating for two years and Jeno could really forget about a good portion of that? No, no, he won't forget, those memories have to still be in his brain somewhere, right? Before Jaemin can hurl himself any further down that dark pit, he feels a hand grip onto his shoulder and pulls him closer to the owner's body. Jaemin instinctively looks up and sees Doyoung now standing beside him, still looking at Dr. Moon while placating Jaemin's shoulder. He leans into Doyoung's touch and tries to focus back on Dr. Moon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can not be certain when, if at all, these memories may come back. We would like to keep him in the hospital for at least two weeks in case any longer term complications come up. Then at the end of those two weeks we will reevaluate his condition and determine if he will need to stay longer.” Dr. Moon takes a pause and Jeno’s mother asks him a question that Jaemin doesn’t really pay much attention to. Their voices filter into a consistent background noise as Jaemin thumbs over Jeno’s hand that now lies cradled in both of Jaemin’s hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lastly, I will recommend that he go through physical therapy after those two weeks. Many patients that have ruptured brain aneurysms experience muscle weakness and even paralysis. The physical therapist will be able to better explain this when Jeno is evaluated.” A broad smile plays across Dr. Moon’s face as he finishes his spiel. He bids them goodbye and they’re left with themselves again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck and Renjun fit themselves in by Jeno's bed too and wait. They just have to wait a little bit longer and Jeno will be back. About 25 minutes pass with casual conversation until the beeping from Jeno's monitor increases in pace as his heart rate increases. Instinctively Mrs. Lee presses the nurse call button and within a few seconds a nurse is standing at the door peeking into the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurse, a rather tall, slim looking man, wastes no time in arriving at Jeno's bedside, taking in his vitals on the monitor and taking a quick glance over Jeno. A smile paints itself over the man's face. He turns back towards everyone else in the room and informs in a surprisingly soft voice for his well put together, slightly intimidating appearance, "Jeno's ok, he's just waking up from the anesthesia. He should be up within a few seconds."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like a bunch of cats watching a cat toy, everyone's heads turn to look over to Jeno. It only takes a few more seconds for Jeno's eyes to flutter open, but they shut just as quickly as they opened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello Jeno, you've had a few people waiting for you to wake up. Jeno, bud, wake up for us." the nurse, whose name tag labels him as Lee Taeyong, coaxes at Jeno. Jeno's fingers twitch within Jaemin's hands, causing Jaemin to loosen his grip just a bit around Jeno's hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno's eyes open again, and this time they stay open. It's quite as Jeno's eyes look around the room, stopping for a few seconds on each person's face. He blinks a few times and lets out a confused hum noise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you know where you are, Jeno?" Taeyong questions him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno hums again, contemplating as if he was asked a trick question, "The hospital." he answers, looking at Taeyong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's right, do you know why you're here?" questions Taeyong again. This question earns Taeyong an intensified look of confusion and it takes Jeno a few moments longer to answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The last thing I remember is that I was stressing about a final I had," Jeno pauses and you could clearly see him thinking, "oh yeah! It was history, I hate history. Me and Donghyuck are in the same class." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong looks at the others in the room to gauge their reactions. He can tell by the contorted faces on the three younger boys in the room that something was off. "That's good Jeno, although you're here because you suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That sentence makes Jeno visibly tense up. He pulls his hand out of Jaemin's hands and fiddles with his fingers. Jaemin almost wants to pull Jeno's hand back into his but he stops himself because Jeno didn't remember. Jeno and Donghyuck hadn’t been in the same history class since about three years ago, it was senior year. As of right now, they were no longer like they were just last night and that chipped away at Jaemin's heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly, Taeyong makes an effort to placate Jeno's panic, "You're ok Jeno, you're ok. Dr. Moon took excellent care of you, he performed your surgery and you're stable now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno visibly releases some of his tension. Although, Jaemin feels like all that tension was transferred to him. He really wants to hold Jeno's hand again, but he doesn't want to overwhelm him. "Mom… Dad" Jeno says as he finally looks around the room at the other occupants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're right her hun, we've been here the whole time." Jeno's mother consults him as she takes his hand in her own and smiles at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, even Doyoung had time to come?" Jeno questions, looking over his brother who's standing by his bedside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey! I try to make time for you whenever I can. You know that Jen, I care about you." Doyoung responds, feeling a bit hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm just messing with you, Doie, don't stress yourself." responds Jeno, who lets a mischievous smile grow on his face. "Oh! Hyuck, Jun, Jaem! You're here too, you guys must actually care about me!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun frowns, "Stop joking around Jen! You really had us scared. It's so relieving that you're at least almost in the clear now." Renjun's voice is stern but eases up towards the end, considering he knows he can't stay too mad at Jeno. That boy's smile is infectious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't let me stress you out, Jun, that's usually Hyuck and Jaem's job. We all know they're a dangerous force when scheming together." Jeno light heartedly comments. Before anything else can be said, the sound of chair legs scooting across the floor rings throughout the room. Everyone's attention is tied to Jaemin, who's now standing. Jaemin feels his cheeks heat up now that he's the center of attention, or maybe it was from the tears building up that he was trying so hard to keep in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, uh… I'm going to go take a walk, I'll be back." Jaemin gets out as he brushes past Doyoung and makes it out into the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun's eyes follow Jaemin from the minute he stood up until he could no longer see him out in the hallway. "I'll go accompany him, excuse me." Renjun doesn't miss the confusion that paints itself all over Jeno's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took Renjun a minute to find which way Jaemin went, but he eventually found him sitting out in the waiting room. Jaemin's legs are brought up to his chest with his arms encircling them and his forehead on top of his knees. Making his way over to his friend, Renjun sits down in the chair beside Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a feather light touch and a soothing voice, Renjun rubs Jaemin's back. "Jaemin… this is about Jeno, right?" Renjun feels Jaemin shudder under his hand and is surprised when said boy raises his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He doesn't remember, Junnie. Two years, two years of a relationship that now doesn't exist to him. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel?" Jaemin finally speaks, never breaking his eyes away from Renjun's face as if it would hold the answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun ponders for a brief second before he responds, "I think your feelings are very valid, but you shouldn't just throw yourself down this dark hole. He just woke up, right? So there's still time for his memories to fill back in." Renjun rubs Jaemin's back to soothe him as tears are still escaping his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe you're right." Jaemin answers, although it didn't sound convincing at all. Jaemin sits there avoiding eye contact with Renjun, contrasting Renjun's eyes that haven't left Jaemin's face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How about this, we just be here for him. We be his friends, which he really needs right now. We need to make him feel comfortable and not shock him too extremely with all of these sudden changes to what he thinks is his reality." Explains Renjun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He continues, "And then after his time in the hospital, we can start introducing this true reality to him. Ok?" Renjun pulls Jaemin in into his side, as much as the armrest between them would allow, and brushes through the hair on the back of Jaemin's head with his fingers. Jaemin considers himself one of the luckiest people to have a person like Renjun in his life. Renjun always seems to know just what to say, and he always remains level-headed, which Jaemin really admires. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin responds with a hum at first and then follows with, "Ok, if this is what we have to do I guess I can at least try." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun offers Jaemin a sympathetic, tight-lipped smile and a squeeze to his shoulder. Renjun detached himself from Jaemin, much to Jaemin’s disliking given the current situation. Jaemin eyes Renjun with lines forming between his eyebrows and head slightly tilted to the side. In response, Renjun lets out a covered up laugh and offers his hand to Jaemin as he stands in front of the still seated boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, let’s do this for Jeno.” Renjun comments, wiggling his fingers around in front of Jaemin. Jaemin eyes his fingers, contemplating on all the emotions swimming around in his mind. Renjun patiently waits, hoping Jaemin will take his hand so he can help guide him through the dark alleyways that occupy his mind. Jaemin does end up taking Renjun’s hand and allows himself to be pulled up out of his seat and to the beginning of the walk back to Jeno’s room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For Jeno.” Jaemin repeats back to Renjun and a smile grows on Renjun’s face. Renjun is content with this small victory right now, knowing there will be plenty more to come in the coming weeks.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The required two weeks of medical supervision that set off Jeno’s recovery plan, progresses without much of a hitch. Jeno found it somewhat strange to get used to spending his time cooped up in a hospital room instead of his own room at home. Taeyong, of course, tried his best to make Jeno as comfortable as he could be, especially after visiting hours and in the mornings. Taeyong would tell Jeno every morning, ‘A good start to the morning allows for the rest of the day to be good too.’ Although Jeno despised Taeyong for the first few mornings that he would come into the room to wake Jeno up at 8, but with Taeyong being the person he is, Jeno couldn’t hold on to that feeling towards him for more than a few minutes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong would spend around ten minutes with Jeno in the mornings before he had to make his rounds. Jeno would watch him curiously as the nurse checked his monitor and stitches each morning. His eyes would follow Taeyong to the window where he would pull back the curtains to allow the rising sun rays to fill the room. He’d watch Taeyong pull the over-bed tray over his blanket covered lap and deposit a tray of breakfast food in front of him. Usually accompanied with an ‘Eat up, your friends will probably be here soon and I’d like to tell them how well you’re progressing.’ from Taeyong, in an effort to get Jeno to eat without a fuss. Jeno does end up eating without a fuss each morning, even if the hospital food is not the greatest, it’s still edible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno looked forward to seeing his friends and family each day whenever they came by. He figured out Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck would usually stop by around 2 o'clock nearly each day and usually earlier on the weekend. He noticed his mother and father, on the other hand, would make sure to come each day after work. Jeno got a smidge discouraged when Doyoung wouldn’t show up as often as the others, but he knew his brother could get quite busy with his work so Jeno would just push it to the side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room would get lively with all four of the friends in the room. Taeyong would sometimes need to pop his head in the door to make sure they weren’t being too mischievous or scheming. Although there was an overall happy vibe in the air, Jeno could feel like something was off or missing. He wasn’t sure what it was, so he had just equated it to Doyoung not being able to be with him as much as all the others. Jaemin, on the other hand, did his best to mask his deep, growing sadness and desire to hug Jeno and never let him go. He knew he couldn’t, at least not yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the second Monday of Jeno’s stay, his mother had taken the responsibility of breaking the news about the nearly two-year gap in his memory to him. Confusion came first, then denial, followed up with a steady stream of tears. His mom held him tight in her embrace, trying to sooth away his worries. The days following Jeno found himself questioning a lot of things, although he kept most of his questions to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On Friday, Jeno was evaluated by the physical therapist whose name he learned is Johnny Seo. At first Jeno was intimidated not only by the man's height but also the confidence and power he exudes. The more Jeno interacted with Johnny that day, the more he became comfortable around him. After all, he needed to be considering he’d have to visit Johnny quite often for the next few months. Jeno had been assessed to have decreased dexterity in his hands, decreased balance and overall coordination, and muscle weakness in his legs. In an effort to distract Jeno from this less than stellar list Johnny tried to encourage Jeno, ‘Ya know, you’re incredibly strong Jeno, you’ll make it through this and I’ll be here to help you every step of the way.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So now here Jeno is seated in Doyoung’s car on the way to an apartment which he was recently informed that he shares with Jaemin. Jeno initially was thrown off by the information. He came to like the idea more, considering he views Jaemin as the one in their friend group that he’s closest to. To say the two boys had history together would be an understatement. They practically spent all of their childhoods together, and Jeno knows the two years that he can’t remember were probably the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno didn’t realize they had arrived at the apartment complex until an elbow belonging to Jaemin, who sat beside him, lightly nudged into his side. “We’re here Jeno, are you ready?” Jaemin asks him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready, Jaem!” The response was of course accompanied by a signature Jeno eye smile. Consequently though, Jaemin wants to kiss that smile. Jaemin’s eyes linger on Jeno’s lips and he has to fight his muscles from making him lean in and close the short distance. Renjun notices Jaemin’s eyes lingering a little too long and he nudges Jaemin in the side, effectively ending the other boy's trance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The five boys huddle together like a group of penguins, into the lobby and to the elevator. Their pace is slower than the average walking speed due to Jeno’s weak legs and disrupted coordination. Jaemin stays right by Jeno’s side and no one else comments on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jaemin turns the key in the lock and pushes the door open, he is greeted with a whirlwind of emotions he didn’t expect to experience. He stands there for a few seconds before Donghyuck comes behind him, resting his hands and chin on Jaemin’s shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything ok Na?” Donghyuck tilts his head to get a better view of Jaemin’s face as he questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah everything's ok.” Jaemin pulls the key out of the lock and invites everyone else in. The door closes with a thud and now they're in the safe confines of the shared apartment. Away from the pairs of strangers' eyes that Jaemin feels are peering into his thoughts and laughing at the predicament his love life is currently in. There's an overall good feeling of being in a place they call home, even if half of the equation doesn't have quite the same definition of what this apartment entails. Jaemin considered it a win to at least have Jeno with him here now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno makes a comment that he likes the decorations that litter the space and Jaemin thinks to himself, ‘Of course you do, you helped pick them out silly.’ Those exact words don’t make it past Jaemin’s lips but others do, “Thanks Jen, I think I have some pretty good interior decorating skill, don’t you think Nono?” Jaemin wraps an arm around Jeno’s waist to steady the boy as he swayed slightly. Donghyuck releases a strangled laugh, that quickly gets covered by a hand and turned into a fake cough, at Jaemin’s subtle flirting that definitely went by Jeno without notice. If looks could kill, Donghyuck would probably be six feet under by now with how Jaemin’s eyes are on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jaemin?” Jeno requests Jaemin’s attention again and the fire in Jaemin’s eyes is gone, replaced with overflowing admiration, “Can we sit down? I feel a headache coming on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh of course, of course, lets go.” Jaemin brings Jeno over to their couch, still with his arm around Jeno’s waist, that currently is only occupied by Doyoung. Jeno sits himself on the middle cushion beside his brother and rests his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes. Although they don’t stay closed for too long as he hears Jaemin shuffling away from the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno straightens out his neck, “You’re trying to escape your injured friend that quickly? Come sit with me.” Jeno pats the empty cushion next to him and tacks on a ‘please’ at the end. Who would Jaemin be to deny him? There’s not a bone in Jaemin’s body that wants to deny him anyway. Jeno has always found that he finds comfort in being in close proximity with his friends, so of course he’s going to ask Jaemin to sit with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung later announces he has a business meeting to attend. Doyoung makes sure of two things before he leaves. One, that he gets Jeno to say 'i love you' back to him and two, that they say 'see you later' instead of 'bye'. Doyoung is usually not too superstitious of things, but ever since Jeno's accident, he's not taking any chances. Jeno latches onto Doyoung's hug as much as his tired muscles will allow him and then Doyoung is off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The four friends spend the rest of the evening watching TV and snacking, and in Jeno's case, napping. Jeno's head sways forward a few times before he regains just enough consciousness to find the nearest solid thing to lean his head against, which just so happens to be Jaemin's shoulder. The action, although Jaemin knows Jeno didn't do it on purpose, pieces together the first two pieces of his shattered heart back together. That's enough for Jaemin to be able to fend off the storm clouds of thoughts, at least for the rest of the night.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jaemin wakes up before Jeno the next morning due to a ray of sunlight creeping through the open space in the curtains that conveniently lands right on his face. He tightly closes his eyes before pulling a face and stretching his arms and legs. Their couch may not be the most comfortable place to sleep, but Jaemin would much rather sleep here than make Jeno uncomfortable by sleeping with him, even if it used to be their norm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sits upright, bringing his pillow into his lap, hugging it and relaxing back into the couch. Jaemin just looks around at the quiet peacefulness in the surrounding room. Jaemin isn't usually the type to wake up early in the morning, so he isn't in a rush to get up and do anything. That is until his stomach makes a series of demanding noises and he complies to the demands. He decides blueberry pancakes will satisfy his needs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While focused on the pancakes, Jaemin fails to notice the rustling from the other room. Jeno wakes up highly confused as to where he is. This room looks nothing like any room Jeno remembers sleeping in. A tendril of panic starts to wind itself up Jeno's spine. The dimmed light from behind the curtains illuminates the room enough for Jeno's eyes to dart around looking for something, for anything at all, that's familiar to him. His search is futile and panic starts to set in because he doesn’t remember why he’s here or where ‘here’ even is. Jeno slings the blanket off of himself, moving his legs to hang off the side of the bed but they’re just not moving fast enough for him and it’s so frustrating. When he goes to stand up, he doesn’t stay upright for long. He crumples to the floor, accidentally knocking over the small lamp on the nightstand on his way down. Jeno cries out, finally letting the tears that were building up out. It's a rather painful choked out sound that would make anyone feel pitiful for Jeno’s current situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin startles when he hears a thud, followed by a crash from the direction of the bedroom. Hastily he moves the pan from the burner, turning it off, and rushes towards the bedroom. He is completely shocked by the scene that greets him. He looks from the bed to the floor, spotting a hysteric and clearly panicking Jeno. Jaemin follows his first instinct to go to Jeno’s side and try to comfort him. Much to his surprise, he’s forcefully pushed away before he can get too close to Jeno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get away from me, don’t hurt me, I don't know who you are!” Jeno nearly shouts, keeping his arms stretched out and turning away, refusing to look at the boy in front of him. Jaemin knows he shouldn’t feel hurt, but he most definitely does, he feels like crying too. The two were so in love, but if someone were to look at the situation now, they would never be able to tell that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin keeps his distance but still pleads with Jeno, “Jeno, please! Please look at me, Jeno! It’s me, Jaemin! You know who I am!” A tear rolls down Jaemin’s cheek as his eyes never leave Jeno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” is all Jeno says as he shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeno baby! It’s me, Na Jaemin, one of your best friends, remember? Remember Renjun and Donghyuck too. You’re in our apartment. No one is going to hurt you, especially me. I would never, never hurt you, Jeno. Do you hear me? Please Jeno, look at me, please!” More tears find their way down Jaemin’s cheeks, clouding his vision. He nearly misses how Jeno’s breathing starts to calm down and how Jeno’s attention is now fixated on Jaemin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin?” he questions, eyes quickly looking over each detail on Jaemin’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Yes, I’m Jaemin!” he pulls Jeno into him, cradling his head to his chest. To further calm himself, Jeno listens to the rhythm of Jaemin’s heart. Even with its faster than normal pace, Jeno finds comfort in it. Slowly, he wraps his arms around Jaemin and pulls the boy impossibly closer. The two say nothing, while they just sit there waiting for a more calm atmosphere to return. Jaemin honestly doesn’t want to let go of Jeno. Jaemin’s afraid. Jeno, likewise, doesn’t let go until the aching in his legs becomes too much to bare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jaemin?” Jeno’s voice is small but with their close proximity Jaemin easily hears him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My legs, they really hurt.” Jaemin releases his hold of Jeno’s head at his chest and instead holds it between his hands in front of his own face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I’ll get you your pain meds from the hospital and I’ll make you some blueberry pancakes. How does that sound?” Jaemin asks while looking into Jeno’s eyes. The action makes Jeno a little giddy for reasons he’s not sure of. He thinks maybe it’s because Jaemin has pretty eyes. Jeno nods in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! Now get on my back.” Jaemin requests as he turns around back ready and hands turned towards Jeno. Jeno figures it’s better not to question his friend and does as he’s told. Plus, he really doesn’t think he could walk on his own right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They make it to the kitchen successfully and Jaemin gently sits Jeno down at one of the bar stools at the counter that separates the living room and kitchen. Jeno thanks him and of course Jaemin tells him it's no big deal. That’s such a Jaemin thing to say, Jeno thinks to himself, but he’s grateful for the boy. He watches Jaemin’s motions, trying to suppress a laugh when Jaemin accidentally drops the spoon into the batter that he had just spooned into the pan. It morphs the pancake into a weird shape. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s ok, I’ll eat that one.” Jaemin says now moving over to the sink to wash said spoon off. Jeno notices the rhythm that Jaemin falls into. Scoop the batter, put it into the pan, flip, slide onto the plate. Six blueberry pancakes later and Jaemin is turning towards Jeno with two plates and a glass of water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here you are, your pancakes and pain meds.” Jaemin scoots one plate across the counter and places the pills into Jeno's waiting hand. Jaemin waits for Jeno to take a bite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god Jaemin, these are amazing. I never knew you were such a great cook.” Jeno praises Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, thank you!” Jaemin says, but there’s so much more he would rather say. ‘Of course they're good, I know they’re your favorite.’ ‘You used to love making them with me.’ But those words are left unspoken. Jaemin figures now is not the time to address that issue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll eat with me too, right?” Jeno asks before taking another bite. “Yea, of course I will.” </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>To say Jeno is nervous for his first therapy session would be an understatement. It’s Thursday, a pretty calm day. It’s not Johnny who makes Jeno nervous, it’s more of his recovery process that he’s scared about. What if he doesn’t recover? What if Johnny gets fed up trying to help him with no improvement? What if Jeno somehow worsens his condition? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His train of thought grinds to a halt when he registers a voice that is not his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"-dy for you now Mr. Lee." Jeno only hears part of the sentence so his face morphs into one of confusion. Noticing this, the receptionist repeats himself, "Mr. Suh is ready for you now Mr. Lee."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin's voice soon chimes in from the seat beside Jeno, "I'll be here until you're done, ok? Do you think can get there by yourself, do you need help?" Jaemin's hand naturally finds Jeno's back and rests there. It's a grounding feeling for Jeno who shakes his head at Jaemin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok and I think I can make it on my own but thank you Jaem." Jeno responds while slowly standing up, as to not throw off his balance or have a repeat of any of his earlier incidents. Jeno had had a hard time getting through his head that he couldn't just spring up anymore, he had to take things slower than before. In his mind, he wants to recover as fast as possible, he's tired of feeling weak and fragile. Jeno carefully puts one foot in front of the other, making his way towards the door pointed out by the receptionist, who makes one last comment before Jeno disappears behind the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're going to love working with Mr. Suh and your walking is honestly not half bad."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin watches Jeno from his seat. He's so proud of Jeno considering said boy was dead set on trying to talk Jaemin out of making him go. But Jaemin didn't crack, so here they are. He watches Jeno away to the side a little bit and can feel his heart nearly jump into his throat. He watches him open the door and disappear inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin's heart returns back to its rightful place, and he finds himself relaxing back into his chair. Now what to do for an hour, Jaemin questions in his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jeno first enters the room, he's surprised by the size. He looks around the room and finds a younger looking boy accompanied by what seems to be another physical therapist. The physical therapist sends a smile Jeno's way when he notices him enter the room then averts his attention back to the boy. Jeno continues to look around until his eyes land on Johnny, who sits at a desk at the far left of the room. Johnny perks up when he notices Jeno at the door. He quickly invites him over, carefully watching Jeno’s walking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Mr. Suh.” Jeno greats him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good afternoon Jeno and feel free to call me Johnny, ok?” Johnny easily responds, face still plastered with his infectious smile. Jeno finds himself envious of how easily Johnny can smile in their current situation. But Jeno still responds with a rather quiet ‘ok’ and that’s enough for Johnny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First of all, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your current level of pain in your legs?” Johnny is now holding a clipboard and a pencil. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably a 4, I took pain meds this morning.” Jeno responds while fiddling with his fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good! Well, let’s get right into it. The first thing I want you to do is to try to walk from this side of the room to,” Johnny points down towards the far side of the room (and in Jeno’s opinion, actually really far away other side), “to the other side.” It’s almost as if Johnny has some kind of sixth sense of detecting unease because he quickly adds on, “I’ll be right beside you the whole time, if you fall I’ll catch you.” Jeno nods and turns toward his goal point. Just get to the other side, it’s easy Jeno, just get to the other side, Jeno repeats in his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first few steps go rather well, and Jeno is feeling rather surprised with himself. Surprised enough that he doesn’t notice his walking speed has picked up and he stumbles to the side. Just like Johnny had said, he is right there with an arm latched around Jeno’s midsection to keep him upright, “You were doing good, you just need to take things slow. We’re in no rush, remember Jeno, recovery is a process, not a race. Let’s continue.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny lets go of Jeno’s waist but his hand still hovers around just in case. It makes it easier for Jeno to rebuild his confidence and he’s putting one foot in front of the other again. The pair eventually pass by the younger looking boy and his physical therapist. The younger boy offers up a thumbs up to Jeno, who takes his attention off of walking just for a few seconds. Within those few seconds, though, Jeno loses his balance and falls over into Johnny, who of course catches him. This sets Jeno into a flurry of embarrassment, he feels his entire body heat up under the eyes watching him. He wishes he could just disappear; he wishes he could walk without having to solely be focused on walking or walking extremely slow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s ok Jeno! Let’s try again, hm?” Johnny encourages him “and stop distracting my patient Chenle, you better be listening to Jungwoo.” Johnny scolds the boy, now identified as Chenle, but there’s obviously no real bite to Johnny’s tone. Chenle in response holds up both hands in surrender, “I am, I’ve done everything he’s told me to with only a moderate level of resistance!”. Jungwoo lets out a ‘pff’ and redirects Chenle’s attention back to his exercises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Likewise, Johnny grabs back Jeno’s attention, “Look at that Jeno, you’re so close to the other side. You think you can make it because I’m positive you can?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we’ll see.” Jeno replies, this time a bit more determined to get to the other side. He takes his steps carefully, watching each foot carefully as his brain fires off for it to move forward. He’s nearly there, four steps more, three steps more, two steps more, and finally the last step. Each step executed without a trip or stumble, which Johnny praises him on. Jeno’s relieved he finally reached the other wall, that is until Johnny prompts him to walk back to the other wall. Jeno looks him up and down in disbelief. It had taken Jeno nearly 20 minutes to get across the room, which of course he beats himself up over because it shouldn’t take that long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And in kicks Johnny’s sixth sense, “Remember Jeno don’t beat yourself up, you took your time, and that’s all I'm asking of you right now. Who cares how long it took?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do.” Jeno says under his breath but Johnny hears, of course he does, they’re right beside each other. “Then let's try again, to the other side, and make it in 19 minutes this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny encourages the entire time and Jeno does make  it over to the other wall and in just a little under 19 minutes, according to Johnny. A win in Johnny’s book and in Jeno’s mind he accepts it as a start maybe not a win just yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, for the last few minutes let's work on your hand dexterity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny has Jeno touch his thumb to each of his other fingers on each hand. He does it fairly easily with his right hand - his dominant hand - but his left hand takes more concentration and willing to complete the task. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the end of the appointment, Jeno is ready to not move for a while and finally be able to quiet the dull but persistent aching in his legs. Jeno ends up leaving the room at the same time Chenle does, except the other boy is now sporting a pair of crutches. They both look each other up and down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don’t even ask, it's embarrassing." Chenle starts and continues anyways, he feels like he could get to like Jeno, "I was trying to impress someone and ended up hurting my leg pretty bad. At least he laughed at it in the beginning, but then he started crying, so I feel kinda bad about that part."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno raises his eyebrows at Chenle, trying his best to stay serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And I hope you will not try to impress him again like that, there're flowers or food you know!" The two hear Jungwoo comment as he comes up behind them at the door. Chenle lets out a strangled series of noises, throwing his head back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll see you guys again next Monday!" Jungwoo chirps while patting them both on the back and disappearing back into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chenle walks at Jeno's pace, not leaving him behind until they part ways at two boys in the waiting room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How'd it go?" Jaemin questions Jeno with attentive eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not half as bad as I thought it would be and I met this other boy." Jeno motions over to the other two boys in the waiting room before they leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bye, Jeno! See you next session!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bye, Chenle!"</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Lazy afternoons are a favorite for both Jaemin and Jeno. Renjun has the afternoon free, meanwhile Donghyuck has a four pm class. Hence why Renjun is the only one sprawled out on their couch, much like a starfish. Jeno finds his friend's position quite humorous, and especially when he reaches over, tickling the bottom of Renjun's foot. Renjun pops his head up and gives him a mock offended look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin, currently perched on one of the bar stools, has his laptop and a textbook laid out in front of him. Much to Jaemin's dismay, with all the stress and happenings of the past three weeks, he has neglected his coursework. It's not like he meant to but, Jeno, the love of his life, was hurt so what was he supposed to do? But now he really wanted to achieve a balance between these two aspects of his life, more like he needed to, actually. Jaemin can't afford, figuratively and literally, to fail. So, he releases a pent-up sigh and tries to block out the noise for the other two. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His sigh makes both Renjun and Jeno look over. Renjun sits up and motions Jeno to scoot over closer to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He always pushes himself so much, it's like he thinks if he's not perfect at something the world will collapse in on him." Renjun whispers to Jeno, he figures Jeno should be filled in on this side of Jaemin. After all, Jeno hasn't met college student Jaemin in his mind yet, all there is is high school Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I see" Jeno starts as he looks Jaemin's sitting figure up and down before he continues, "He looks pretty perfect to me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun nearly lets out a laugh, but he catches it and covers his mouth with his hand, "Well of course you would say that you're in l-" Renjun quickly cuts his sentence short, rather quickly returning his hand back to his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Jeno questions Renjun, "I'm what?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun avoids Jeno's eyes. He knows it will be immensely harder to wiggle himself out of this situation if he looked at Jeno's eyes. Renjun notices Jaemin stirring, Jaemin brings a knee up to his chest, Renjun is surprised he doesn't fall off the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're lost in Jaemin's charms. He's quite a flirty person, you know?" Improvises Renjun, although there is some truth to his statement considering Jaemin is a loving person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm, you're right, he is very loving." Jeno agrees, basically dismissing the tension of Renjun's near slip up. A groan is heard from Jaemin, who slumps down on top of his textbook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jaeminnie! What's wrong?" Renjun questions as he gets up from the couch, stretches, and ventures over to Jaemin. He drums his fingers on Jaemin's shoulders and Jaemin's head pops up. Renjun laughs at his friend's antics. Renjun notices Jeno slide on to the empty bar stool beside him, rather ungracefully Renjun would like to add. Jeno notices Renjun looking at him and they both end up laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have so much to do and so little time." Jaemin finally says after his two friends stop laughing. Jaemin lays his head back down on top of the textbook and stares at Jeno. Jeno's smile makes Jaemin smile. He notices himself growing giddy just at the sight of happy Jeno. Jaemin feels a twinge of embarrassment grow at the thought, so he uses his elbow to cover the growing pink tint of his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll help you." Renjun soothes, "Right Jen?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right, of course!" Jeno agrees, giving both boys a thumbs up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You guys are amazing." Jaemin says as Renjun slides on to the remaining empty barstool beside him. Jaemin lifts himself up again and pushes his textbook in Renjun's direction. Renjun regrets his decision to help just a little bit when he sees the subject, chemistry, but it's ok.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Hey, Jaemin?" Jeno questions in an apprehensive tone. Jeno hadn’t stopped thinking about the topic of college ever since he had tried to help Jaemin with Renjun. Although he had found himself not to be much help considering he didn’t know much about chemistry and especially at a college level. Jeno wanted to know if he had gotten into college, it’s bugging him not knowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Jaemin responds, looking up from his phone at Jeno. “What’s up, Jen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh nothing too important, I was just wondering if I went to college or got in? Like you, Donghyuck and Renjun.” Jeno inquiries, repositioning the throw pillow on top of his lap. He watches as Jaemin smiles at him, which leads Jeno to believe the outcome of his question will be positive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you do, in fact we all got accepted into the same university. I guess you could say were all meant to stay friends forever.” with a laugh Jaemin enlightens Jeno and he continues, “Well, I should say you did, since the university gave you a few months off for medical leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno hums in response, soaking in the new information that effectively calms the storm of questions regarding the subject. The two fall into a comfortable quiet while they sit beside each other on the couch, Jeno’s attention returning to the TV and Jaemin’s attention returning to his phone (and maybe a few side glances at Jeno to check up on him).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno feels a headache coming on rather quickly. He squeezes his eyes shut in an effort to alleviate some of the pain, and it works until he opens his eyes again. Bringing his legs up to his chest, Jeno rests his head on his knees and closes his eyes again. Jaemin glances over because of the movement and grows worried for Jeno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ok?” He asks, leaning a smidge forward to try to get a better view of Jeno’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, just a sudden headache.” Jeno responds still with his eyes closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, do you want me to get you some tylenol? I can help you go lay down or-” Jaemin’s rambling gets cut off by Jeno who now has his eyes open, looking directly at Jaemin. Jaemin feels himself grow weak under Jeno’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, I’ll stay out here with you. Can I lay on your lap?” Jeno asks Jaemin, being completely serious and Jaemin on the other hand is caught off guard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, um, oh yeah, yeah!” he responds uncertain at first and flustered at the idea but gains confidence so Jeno doesn’t dismiss the idea. After nearly three weeks with little to no physical contact with Jeno, Jaemin is pretty touch deprived to say the least. He’d take every opportunity to be close to Jeno, even if it’s something as small as this. It still tapes another fragment of Jaemin’s heart back together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno lays his head down in Jaemin’s lap, stretching the rest of his body out over the empty couch. He places a hand on Jaemin’s thigh and lets it rest there while his other hand resides under his head. Jaemin’s poor poor heart. It increases in pace and Jaemin really hopes Jeno can't hear it. Jeno adjusts himself, never letting go of Jaemin’s leg in the process. They continue watching TV. More like Jeno eventually falls asleep and Jaemin is busy admiring Jeno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jaemin notices Jeno’s breathing has leveled out and he hasn’t moved in a while Jaemin gets bold. He first lightly pets down Jeno’s hair, which earns him a sleepy hum. He continues until he’s fully carding his fingers through Jeno’s pretty black hair. Jaemin feels a warm sensation of comfort grow within him when he notices Jeno leaning into his touch. That alone is enough for Jaemin right now. He feels invincible right now, like he could on take any the world throws at them. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Jenooo!" Jaemin says in a sing-song voice as he sees Jeno walking out of the therapy room door bidding Chenle a good bye. Jaemin feels a sprout of accomplishment grow in him when he notices Jeno’s smile grow and his eyes become little crescents as he sets his full attention onto Jaemin. Jeno makes sure to take his time while walking to Jaemin, as per Johnny’s repeated reminders, but Jaemin meets him in the middle. Jaemin’s hands are reaching out for Jeno’s shoulders before his brain can stop him. But Jaemin does stop once he’s holding onto Jeno’s shoulders, the smile drops from his lips when he looks at his hands. He looks back to Jeno’s eyes and the smile starts to trickle back onto his face, even more when Jeno responds back to Jaemin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yesss, Jaemin?” He questions in a sing-song voice too. The touch doesn’t phase Jeno in the slightest. He actually finds the contact to be comforting, allowing him to forget the fatigue in his muscles, in general and from the therapy, even if it just lasts for a few seconds. Jeno wonders about the memories he can’t seem to recall with Jaemin, no matter how hard he tries. He wonders what fun moments occurred, what shenanigans the two got into. He wonders about the quality time he spent with not only Jaemin but Renjun and Donghyuck too. He can't seem to stop smiling at Jaemin today, not that he's complaining.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have a surprise, we need to go to the park!" Jaemin finally spills, letting Jeno in on only part of what's in his mind. Jeno, though he tries to suppress it, let's a grunt of protest out to which Jaemin laughs at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry, I'll be doing all the work. And besides, I think you'll really enjoy it." Jaemin quickly does his best to explain without giving too much away. It doesn't take much for Jeno to comply and they're off, venturing their way to the park. Somehow along the way their hands become interlocked, but it's not like either of them are going to complain. Something about this just feels right to Jeno. He does not understand why, but it just feels right, like this is the way things are supposed to be. Maybe it's because of the many years the two have known each other, Jeno rationalizes, yeah, he goes with that. He tunes back into what Jaemin is saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And then, when why we were both there was brought up, Jisung's, oh yeah that's the name of the boy that waits for Chenle, but anyways, his cheeks got sooo red. Personally, I think he may have a bit of a crush on Chenle. But I'm not completely sure yet, I need to squeeze more information out of him during the next appointment." Jeno's eyes flip between the sidewalk in front of him and Jaemin's animated face as he attentively listens, before commenting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hm, makes sense considering Chenle said he got injured trying to impress a boy. Which could be Jisung, they seem to care about each other a lot." Adding his information on the two boys in question, Jeno tries to gauge Jaemin's reaction. Jaemin lets out an 'aha' followed by an "I see, I see."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh look, we’re here Jen!" Jaemin explains as he swings Jeno's arm back and forth, caught up in the excitement of his plan but quickly apologizes as he sees how the sudden movement throws off Jeno’s balance a bit. Jeno reassures Jaemin, knowing he didn’t purposely do it. They’re standing in front of a bike rental stand at the park. It makes Jeno feel weary until Jaemin further explains. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I rented out a bike with a side cart so we could both enjoy it. Since I’m not sure if you remember or not, but we both used to ride bikes together fairly often and we both, well at least for me, I really enjoyed it.” Jaemin admits and finds himself becoming self-conscious and somewhat embarrassed about his sudden admission of his feelings. Jeno can’t help the enormous smile gracing his face. What would he do without Jaemin in his life? This boy is so caring and conscious towards him, and Jeno doesn’t even know where to begin to repay it to Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin, that’s very thoughtful of you. I can’t explain how happy it makes me that you’re willing to do things like this for me. Although, I’m sorry I don’t really remember us going bike riding together, but I’m sure we had a great time together.” Squeezing Jaemin’s hand as best as he could, Jeno doesn’t look away from Jaemin’s warm face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno nearly misses what Jaemin says next because he says it only just above a whisper, “We did, we had an amazing time with each other, I loved it.” Jeno hums acting like he hadn’t heard what Jaemin had just said, but Jaemin just responds with a simple ‘nothing’ and motions Jeno towards the bike rental stand. Jeno’s face again is adorned by a smile he can’t shake as he looks at the expanse of Jaemin’s back as they walk towards their destination. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno watches Jaemin’s legs from his seat in the sidecar as he peddles them down the path. There’s a gentle breeze and the leaves are changing brilliant hues of red, orange, and yellow. The sound of cars and children are heard around them, along with snippets of conversations as they pass by other people. Jeno is a little envious that his legs aren’t strong enough to regularly ride bikes with Jaemin, but other than that everything feels perfect to Jeno. He doesn’t feel like he needs to worry about anything right now, he just needs to be in the moment with Jaemin and that he does. He doesn’t let any thought cloud his mind, he just focuses on Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin, who is so kind to Jeno even through all the trouble and stress he has caused him over the past month. Jaemin, who even though he doesn’t show it, Jeno know he’s tired and stressed too for his own reasons, which Jeno hopes he will open up to him about sometime soon. Jaemin, who, as Jeno has noticed recently, is quite perfect in Jeno’s eyes. That last realization catches Jeno off guard. The pace of his heart and the duration that he has been observing Jaemin also catches him off guard. What is this feeling? Why does he feel so full and yet so giddy when he’s around Jaemin lately? Is it okay to feel like this towards one of your best friends? For many of these questions, Jeno can not come up with a straightforward answer, so he stores them away in his mind to look back into later. For now he wants to, no he feels like he needs to make this bike ride a wonderful memory for Jaemin.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It’s only eleven a.m. and Jaemin is ready to bang his head against a wall and jump right back into bed, but obviously he can not do that. Jaemin had received a rather less than stunning grade on an assignment he thought he did decent on. He did a quick once over on the rest of his grades in other classes before exiting out of that tab. If he never had to check his grade book again, he would be perfectly fine with that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On top of this, Jeno had woken up with a throbbing headache and his legs were aching again, which didn’t put Jeno in the best of moods. The two got into a slight argument about the volume of the TV, of all things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really have to have that so loud?” Jeno’s face adorned with an annoyed frown and his brows furrowed together. Jeno’s eyes stare into Jaemin like he wants to burn holes through the boy. Jaemin takes offence from Jeno’s tone and gives him a perplexed look. Jaemin, not in the mood for any of this, fires back at Jeno. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, in fact I do need to have it this loud considering it’s not even that loud, if it bothers you that much just go back in the room. Leave me alone for once!” Jaemin spits out the last part without thinking. Before either of them can say anything more, a knock in heard from the door followed by a voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, hey, if I’m interrupting something I can come back later.” It’s Donghyuck. He must have heard them arguing. Jaemin sighs before going to open the door and letting Donghyuck in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re fine, we’re fine.” Jaemin responds once the door is closed behind him. Donghyuck can’t help looking between his two friends, as if trying to judge if they really are ‘fine’. Clearly, Donghyuck can tell they aren’t. It doesn’t take much to figure that out considering the two are avoiding looking at each other like their lives depend on it. Donghyuck greats Jeno, asking if he can do anything for him. Jeno requests ibuprofen and apple juice, to which Donghyuck kindly obliges. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaeminnie, where do you keep your ibuprofen?” Donghyuck asks while standing in the middle of the kitchen looking at Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The cabinet beside the fridge.” He responds, still standing by the door, finding everything but the two other people in the space very interesting. Jeno’s much the same, finding the throw pillow in his lap quite interesting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I was going to take Jaemin out to get coffee to have some destress time, but you’re of course welcome to come too Jeno.” Donghyuck pours the apple juice into a cup and delivers it, along with the medicine, to Jeno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m good. Besides, I don’t think I want to be around him so I’ll stay here, maybe I’ll get Renjun to come over.” Jeno responds to Donghyuck, who nods along to his words to show he’s listening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin rolls his eyes at Jeno’s words. “I do have a name, you know.” It's a snarky side comment that Jaemin thinks neither of them hears, but he’s proved wrong when Donghyuck shushes Jaemin, leveling him with a stern look. As if Donghyuck is daring Jaemin to make the situation worse with another comment. Jaemin raises his previously crossed arms up in a surrendering gesture, retreating into the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, then we’ll wait here until Renjun gets here so you won’t be alone, ok?” Donghyuck questions, even though Donghyuck isn’t actually giving Jeno a choice in this matter. Jeno obliges, nodding his head and sipping his apple juice as he throws a glance toward the kitchen. Jeno’s eyes return back to Donghyuck and Jeno tilts his head in the direction of the kitchen, signaling to Donghyuck to go placate Jaemin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck takes a breath in before he strolls into the kitchen. Donghyuck makes an effort to keep his voice at a whisper as he tries to work out information from Jaemin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up with you today? Hm? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you be so snippy and defensive with anyone,” Donghyuck pauses, looking over his shoulder to make sure Jeno isn’t listening to their conversation, before he continues in a barely audible voice, “especially to Jeno, you love him an ineffable amount.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m well aware of that, the problem lies with Jeno not me.” Jaemin says turning around from the counter, leaning on it and looking at Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaem, you can’t blame him. It’s not like he willingly forgot about your relationship, and besides have you seen the way he looks at you, with or without the past two years, it’s clear that there could be something there. Just let it develop.” Donghyuck tries to reason with Jaemin, completely surprised that he’s trying to pin down Jeno as the problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t I have enough to worry about right now. Why can’t he just make it easier on me and at least try to remember? Is he even trying?” Jaemin pauses as if he’s pondering on that very question until he speaks again, this time louder than their previous whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what Hyuck, let’s find out. Jeno?!” Jaemin calls out, surprising Donghyuck and Jeno. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Jeno do you really no-” Donghyuck panics and reacts quickly, covering Jaemin’s mouth before he can finish that question, which Donghyuck is certain Jaemin would have regretted. Jaemin is not in the right mind state right now for this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Calm down, Jaemin. Don’t do anything you’re going to regret. Do you hear me?” With his hand still covering Jaemin’s mouth, Donghyuck levels Jaemin with stern eyes and a tight grip on his upper arm. Jaemin’s eyes dart between Donghyuck and Jeno, who is now looking confusedly at them over the top of the couch. Then Jaemin realizes he shouldn’t be doing this. He let his stress and emotions get the best of him, to the point where he almost destroyed anything that his and Jeno’s relationship could have become. It surprises both Jaemin and Donghyuck when a tear rolls down from Jaemin’s eye and lands on Donghyuck’s hand. Others follow suit, causing Donghyuck to remove his hand and embrace his friend in a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renjun walks into the apartment, greeted by the distraught sight of his friends, and becomes even more confused than Donghyuck’s text had made him. ‘Please come keep Jeno company while I take Jaemin out for an off day,, they fought by the way.’ Renjun hadn’t expected to see one of them in full on tears when he got there, but here they are. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck wipes away at each tear that slides down Jaemin’s face. “We’re still going on that coffee date, Na. You really need to give yourself a break today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin doesn’t say anything to that. He just gives Donghyuck a brief nod, angling his head up in an effort to keep his tears at bay. It’s effective, and only a tent of red is left on Jaemin’s face. Donghyuck patiently waits until Jaemin is done rinsing his face and slipping a sweatshirt on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two leave, Donghyuck bidding Renjun and Jeno a goodbye while Jaemin offers a simple wave, quickly following behind Donghyuck out the door and to their destination. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a coffee shop that Jaemin and them have visited frequently. For that Jaemin is thankful, considering he doesn’t have to think much about what he wants. Donghyuck offers to get Jaemin more than just a coffee, but he declines the offer. In the end, Donghyuck still ends up getting them both a pastry. Jaemin thanks him repeatedly to which Donghyuck says that it’s his treat and to not fret. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They settle at the end of the long high top table that is pushed up in front of the front window. A series of varying potted plants line the window ledge in front of the table. The various brown and cream color tones add a homey feel to the area. Jaemin slides onto the metal stool with a coffee cup in hand, and Donghyuck does the same. The cool feeling of the metal through his jeans coincides with the cold radiating in his hand. Donghyuck doesn’t bother questioning Jaemin’s choice of an iced coffee even with the cool weather. Donghyuck watches as Jaemin takes a sip from the lid and keeps his eyes straight, looking out the window. He takes a sip of his own hot coffee before he breaks the ice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, would you like to tell me what happened back there?” He faces Jaemin, propping his head up on his free hand. “Or if you don’t want to talk about that, at least tell me what’s been stressing you lately, what’s going on in your little head Jaem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin sighs, figuring he can’t avoid this any longer, and looks down at his cup in front of him. “I already wasn’t in a good mood because I found out I nearly failed an assignment I thought I did decent on. I’ve been behind on assignments recently for basically every class. It’s a lot to balance.” Jaemin glances sideways to make sure Donghyuck is paying attention and Donghyuck, as confirmation, let’s out a hum while taking another sip of his coffee. Jaemin has to look away from Donghyuck’s eyes to continue. He finds that Donghyuck’s stare can be quite intimidating. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And then Jeno woke up not feeling well, so he was pretty irritable already, much like I was. Not that that’s an excuse for how I reacted, we were both ticking time bombs ready to explode and we did.” Jaemin pauses and laughs to himself. Donghyuck is a bit confused at the action. “All because I wouldn’t turn the damn TV down. He had a headache, I should have just turned it down and kept my mouth shut.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re allowed to express your emotions and frustrations too. You just weren’t in the right state of mind to do it properly.” Donghyuck tacks on when Jaemin pauses again. They look at each other, Jaemin looking as if he’s debating on whether or not to say anything more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like there’s more you need to air out, so continue.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin breaks eye contact again, this time inspecting one of the potted plants in front of them. “I still have feelings for Jeno, a lot of feelings for him, he’s amazing. How could I not love him? He’s beautiful, he’s kind hearted, he’s so, so caring.” Donghyuck interrupts Jaemin’s sentences, “You’re so whipped it’s kinda revolting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That earns Donghyuck a punch to the arm and an exasperated response, “Shut up, I’m trying to pour out my feelings to you here Mr. I have a crush on a certain boy but I’m too scared to tell him about my feelings.” This one renders Donghyuck quiet as his eyes go wide, and he too suddenly finds the potted plants very interesting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment Donghyuck responds, “This isn’t about my love life, so anyway continue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love him, but he doesn’t love me anymore. It’s tiring to have feelings for someone that no longer reciprocates them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he does like you still. Maybe you should have a serious conversation with him about how your relationship used to be. You can’t keep him in the dark forever, it won’t be good for either of you” Donghyuck offers his advice. Jaemin seriously considers what he says, maybe Donghyuck is right, he needs to eventually tell Jeno how things were. It’s a thought that scares Jaemin down to the bone. Rejection hurts like hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With empty room temperature cups and feelings aired out in the open, the two decide it’s a good time to return back to the apartment. On the way there, Donghyuck makes Jaemin promise that he’ll apologize to Jeno, which of course Jaemin agrees to. He is genuinely regretful for how he handled the situation. Jeno too talked it over with Renjun and was advised to apologize to mend their friendship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin and Donghyuck are greeted with the sight of an asleep Renjun with his head propped up on Jeno’s shoulder. Jeno turns his head towards the two, making a quiet shushing noise. Jeno looks Jaemin up and down. Jaemin feels small under his eyes and even a bit intimidated. Jeno is satisfied to see that Jaemin is not carrying as much tension as he was before. The discrete smile that adorns Jeno’s face throws Jaemin off a bit. Don’t get him wrong, though, he’s always happy to see Jeno smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeno, could we talk in the other room, please?” Jaemin asks in a hushed voice, very much hoping that Jeno will agree. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I will. Hyuck come be Renjun’s headrest.” Jeno responds and motions Donghyuck over with his hand. Donghyuck gently lifts Renjun’s head up, cradling it gently between his palms. He notes that Renjun looks so peaceful and calm while asleep. A grin grows across Donghyuck’s lips. Jeno slides himself to the side and towards the bedroom. Donghyuck slots himself beside Renjun and lays his head back down on his shoulder. Renjun sleepy brings Donghyuck’s arm into his grasp like it was a pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorr-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jen, I’m -” They both speak at the same time when the door closes behind them. Jeno goes to sit on the end of the bed. “You go first, Jaem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok. Jeno, I’m so sorry I yelled at you and got frustrated with you earlier today. I wasn’t in the best state emotionally and it was wrong of me to take my emotions out on you even though I knew you were in pain. I didn’t mean to hurt you, so again I am truly sorry.” Jaemin finishes his apology, looking up from his hands to Jeno’s face. He’s looking right back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I accept your apology. I know I’ve been a lot to deal with lately, and I’m sorry for causing you more stress. I could have asked you in a less snappy tone and tried to better keep my cool. I’ve been stressed too since I feel like there’s something so important that I just can’t remember for the life of me. It’s like it’s right in front of me, but I can’t put my finger on it. So I’m sorry too, for earlier, I hope you can forgive me.” Jaemin thinks it's quite comical how the universe plays with him. ‘Like it’s right in front of me but I can’t put my finger on it.’, Jaemin wants to hysterically laugh at that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I accept your apology, I love you Jeno.” Jaemin watches Jeno’s eyes as they flit down to his hands and then to one of Jaemin’s hands that lies on the mattress just a few inches in front of him. Jeno feels nerves rearing up in his stomach as he thinks about his growing feelings for the boy in front of him. Jeno decides to be bold and reaches out for Jaemin’s hand in front of him. He lets his hand rest over Jaemin’s, feeling rather triumphant when Jaemin’s hand stays under his. The contact is enough to light both of their hearts up, neither knowing the other is feeling the same way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno decides to ride this wave of boldness and finally responds to Jaemin, “I love you too Jaemin.” Two true confessions that get blocked by each of their own fears about how the other feels.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It must have been fear that changes Doyoung's dedication to work. The fear of seeing his only brother laid out on a hospital bed so close yet so far away from them. Death can be scary, Doyoung concludes. He wants to be a part of Jeno's life more while he has the chance, and if that means ignoring some calls back to the office for overtime and not taking on as many extra projects, then he's willing to do that. He's a bit embarrassed at how much he's put off the rest of his life for work, but there's always room to improve, he reminds himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So that's why Doyoung finds himself standing outside the door to Jeno and Jaemin’s apartment. He had arranged with Jaemin ahead of time to have the night alone with Jeno, and Jaemin was more than willing. Jaemin had even offered to order them dinner or something like that, but Doyoung politely declined. The idea of cooking dinner with Jeno and just having time to catch up with each other calms Doyoung’s nerves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His knock on the door is greeted with a ‘coming!’ from the other side. Jaemin swings the door open, allowing Doyoung to step in. Jaemin stays by the door, before he speaks while slipping on a pair of shoes from those strewn next to the door. “Perfect timing! I’ll be going to Renjun’s now! Bye Jen, bye Doyoung, have a good night!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin receives two goodbyes before he’s out the door and on his way to Renjun. Jeno is puzzled why Doyoung has come over and why Jaemin has left so quickly. He didn’t remember Jaemin ever mentioning he had any plans for the night. He also doesn’t remember Doyoung mentioning he was coming over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you scheme with Jaemin for this?” Jeno questions as he notices the plastic bag of various groceries held in Doyoung’s hand as he stands by the kitchen counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, in fact, I did. He even offered to cook dinner for us. You need to keep that boy Jeno, don't let him escape, he’s good.” Doyoung nonchalantly comments and Jeno nearly chokes on his saliva, feeling his face heat up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah I will.” Jeno responds in a hurry both from shock and in an effort to end the conversation about this topic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doyoung continues, “But I told him I wanted us to cook dinner together and have bonding time, ya know.” Jeno can’t help the laugh that he tries to stifle. “Yeah, Doie, I think that would be wonderful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The excitement in Doyoung’s eyes upon Jeno’s response makes Jeno feel mushy and warm inside. He hopes this leads to a turn for the better in their relationship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two have no problem cooking dinner together. They both find it quite enjoyable. Especially when Jeno has to rewash one of the vegetables because it slips out of both of their hands as he is passing it to Doyoung to cut up. It rolls across the floor, Doyoung attempting to catch it before it goes too far, but he misses it. They end up looking at each other and breaking out into laughter. They sit together eating quietly at first until Doyoung starts up a conversation about a show he had been binge watching lately and Jeno listens intently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night flows by smoothly, just like Doyoung had hoped it would. He’s floating on a feeling of euphoria, seeing as Jeno had actually engaged in conversation and laughed with him without a single snarky comment or sideways look. Jeno was surprised the Doyoung hadn’t checked his phone for a text or email a single time. He was even more surprised when he discovered Doyoung had put his phone on silent. They are definitely making steps forward in their relationship. Rebuilding a strained relationship into a close bond takes many attempts, and this is a good first attempt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>About two hours or so later Jaemin returns home, pleased to see Doyoung still together with Jeno. He soaks them in while they are entranced by some series on Netflix, sitting beside each other and sharing a bag of popcorn. Jaemin wonders what having an older brother must be like since he’s an only child. Considering that, Jaemin finds himself glad that Jeno has Doyoung. The thump of Jaemin’s discarded shoes against the floor garners their attention and they usher him over to join them, to which Jaemin gladly does. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jeno takes in the boy dancing around freely and wildly to the indie song playing from said boy’s phone. He repositions himself on the couch cushion as if it would help ease the pain in the muscles of his legs. But he doesn’t mind, getting a second hand feeling of happiness just from watching Jaemin. Jaemin spins around with his arms raised and feet light. Jeno watches as Jaemin’s hair flies around his face and how Jaemin’s current stance allows for just a sliver of his midriff to show. It had been a little over a week since he told Jaemin that he loves him. He thinks Jaemin took it in a friendly way, which makes his heart ache, and he hasn't stopped thinking about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jeno notices himself staring at Jaemin's midriff for just a little too long, he quickly tears his eyes away from Jaemin entirely. The potted house plant sitting on the window seal is suddenly very interesting. Jeno’s sure that Jaemin hadn’t noticed, so why is he so embarrassed? He can appreciate his friend's body, right? After all, they live together. Although Jeno’s still not sure how they came to live together and when he had asked Jaemin about it he simply replied, with a tight-lipped smile, that ‘we moved in together because we go to the same university and didn’t want to live in the dorms with a stranger’. Jeno hadn’t questioned it any further, believing it was a very probable reason. Now Jeno is thankful for it. He gets to see Jaemin any time he wants, and sometimes it makes his heart burn bright while other times it burns his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right now Jeno doesn't think his heart could burn any brighter for the boy in front of him. The song comes to an end and Jaemin stops the playlist, plopping himself beside Jeno. He's in an awkward laid out position, half his body on the couch and half hanging off. Jeno can't help the laugh that slips out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you laughing at, pretty boy?" Jaemin questions as he cranes his neck to look at Jeno's face. Nicknames have become a more common occurrence between them. It's something they both do, but neither comments on it. Jaemin adds them in more often than Jeno, that's just how Jaemin is. Jeno has always known him to be comfortable in the area of casual flirting. Although to Jaemin this is more than just casual flirting. For him, this is his way of acting on their two-year relationship in a way that isn't too obviously telling on how much he misses it. Jeno drinks up the nicknames and lets it fuel his desire to love Jaemin on a deeper level. Both pinning yet comically unaware of how the other feels too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno feels his cheeks grow warm under both the nickname and Jaemin's eyes. Jaemin now sits criss crossed beside Jeno, looking at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So…" Jaemin trails off, waiting for Jeno's answer, taking one of Jeno's hands in his fiddling with the other's fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You, pretty boy." Jeno's bold and it pays off, seeing how Jaemin's hands freeze where they hold Jeno's hand. He also watches Jaemin's eyes downcast to their hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a small voice Jaemin speaks, "You know, I'm very fond of you, Jeno. So hypothetically if I were to-, no never mind forget it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What Jaem?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, it's nothing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Say it, Jaemin."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What if you don't feel the same? What if you think I'm weird for what I was going to say? What if you don’t want to go back to what we had before?" Jaemin rambles and what he says shocks him. The words coming out before his brain could catch up and process them. Now he's turning a deep shade of red and it's suddenly really hot in their apartment. Jaemin only glances up at Jeno to gauge his reaction. Jeno is staring back at him, confused as ever. Jeno hopes this means what he thinks it means. He hopes Jaemin doesn't back down and tells him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go ahead, tell me, you know I won't judge you." Jeno offers Jaemin a smile and properly intertwines their hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you, like love love you." Jaemin finally says and notices Jeno opening his mouth but he stops him before he can speak, "No, don't say anything yet. I have some explaining to do." Jeno gives him a nod, his eyes searching Jaemin's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We used to date for two years, actually I guess technically we still are, but when you didn't remember I was scared out of my mind that you wouldn't want to date me anymore. That you would think it was weird that we were dating." Jaemin lets the words sit thick in the surrounding air. He searches Jeno's face for any emotion at all, but Jeno is doing a decent job at keeping his face neutral.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Two years, hm?" Jeno finally questions. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> was in a relationship with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> for two years." Jaemin can't decide if it's a question or a statement, so he responds with an uncertain 'yes'.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno hums as he puts his thoughts together. He assumes now would probably be a good time to spill his emotions too. "That works out really well, actually. I knew there was something important I was missing out on. I haven't been completely honest with you over these two months." Jaemin nods along, showing he's paying attention, and Jeno continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I kept trying to reason with myself and my feelings. 'It's only normal that I'm falling for Jaemin, I spend so much time with him.' or I would ask myself 'It's ok to have feelings for a friend, right?' As long as I didn't act on them and make things weird."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's funny that you mentioned that because I was scared to act on my feelings towards you too." Jeno looks at Jaemin with a serious look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, you don't have to be scared anymore. I'm more than willing to start a relationship with you again." Jeno says the second sentence so softly and cautiously that Jaemin nearly misses it. He doesn't, though, and he can't help the smile that blossoms across his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin springs forward and into Jeno. He wraps his arms under Jeno's arms and around his back, holding on like his life depended on it. "I'd like that, Jen." Jaemin says into Jeno's chest. Jeno hums and brings his arms to rest on Jaemin's back. They stay like this for quite a while until Jaemin's breath levels out and the grip of his arms loosens slightly around Jeno. Jeno finds himself feeling content for the first time in a while.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jeno is amazingly giddy to go to therapy and fill in Chenle on the news, maybe he’ll even let Johnny in on their gossip this time. There are many times when Johnny has asked about aspects of Jeno’s life and for the most part he keeps what he tells him pretty mundane. None of the secrets or juicy details make it to Johnny’s ears usually, just to Chenle’s when they make it a habit of arriving a handful of minutes earlier than their appointment times and hanging back a handful of minutes after to talk. This, of course, results in Jaemin and Jisung becoming close to each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaemin dotes on Jisung almost immediately, and Jisung doesn’t protest with reddening cheeks and a polite smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It shocks Chenle to the core to see Jeno smile at Jaemin while he’s talking to Jisung and then proceed to press a kiss to Jaemin’s cheek, like it is an everyday occurrence. Chenle releases a short exasperated noise that only Jeno seems to hear and he’s grinning from ear to ear as Chenle looks him up and down. Jeno feels a rush of embarrassment but pride at the same time while he does his best to pretend like Chenle isn’t trying to get his attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their appointment time begins and on the short walk to the room’s door Chenle nudges Jeno’s shoulder with his, “And what was that out there, hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A kiss on the cheek.” Jeno responds with a shrug of his shoulders, eyeing Chenle’s reaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So plan ‘woo Jaemin’ was a success!?” Chenle questions much louder than Jeno would have liked him to. Jeno shushes him frantically, looking behind them to see Jaemin and Jisung glancing over at them. He offers them a smile, hoping they didn’t hear that, and drapes an arm over Chenle’s shoulders in order to get him into the room faster. What Jaemin doesn’t know won’t kill him. After all, plan ‘woo Jaemin’ and plan ‘woo Jisung’ are supposed to stay between Chenle and Jeno, until death, Chenle made sure to add.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back out in the waiting room, Jisung's eyes haven’t left Jaemin’s face. He badly wants to ask what that cheek kiss was about and how he can get one from Chenle. As if Jaemin can feel Jisung’s eyes burning holes into him, he looks up to meet his gaze. “What?” Jaemin asks with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, how did you two level up to cheek kisses?” Jisung asks completely serious and Jaemin can’t help giggling at his wording of the question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We talked things out, and he had started to develop feelings for me again, but he was scared I wouldn't like him back. Can you believe that?” Leaning his head into his hand that’s propped up on the armrest between them, Jaemin explains.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talking, it's as simple as that, yet it’s terrifying.” Jisung can’t believe the answer was so simple. Maybe if he tried talking to Chenle about how he feels, then maybe he’ll feel the same. No, that was a terrifying idea. How could it be so simple? They talk for the rest of the time until Chenle and Jeno return. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno does his best to pump up Chenle on their short walk to where the other two boys sit. “You got this! You have to carry out plan ‘woo Jisung’ and this is the first step.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t. I can’t just go up and kiss his cheek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you can but make sure to ask first!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is terrifying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll pay off, trust me!” They reach their destination and fall silent, like they definitely weren’t just scheming something at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chenle, how was it today?” Jisung asks, blissfully unaware of the war of emotions happening in Chenle’s head. But still Chenle decides to just go for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Park Jisung, would it be ok if I kissed you on the cheek?” He spits it out so fast that it almost sounds like one word. Despite this, Jisung understands him and is sent into a bumbling mess with red cheeks and blown open eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...is that a yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Jisung surprises himself with how quickly and enthusiastically he responds. When it happens, Jaemin coos like a parent watching their child fall in love for the first time. Jeno finds Jaemin’s reaction is quite adorable to say the least, he feels like he’s falling more and more in love with the boy.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jaemin is shocked when Jeno makes a request for him to sleep with him in their bed. He had gotten so used to sleeping on their coach that he hadn’t really put much thought into sleeping in the bed together like they used to. He figures he maybe should have, considering their feelings are out in the open now, but he doesn’t dwell on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeno, in his fuzzy pajama pants and old oversized shirt, made refusal not an option at all. It’s not like Jaemin wanted to refuse him, anyway. At first Jaemin keeps his distance from Jeno, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He stays on his side of the bed, that is until Jeno turns over to look at him with a stern look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Na Jaemin, why are you so far away, get over here and hold me!” Jeno instructs, he’s been waiting for this moment for so long that he doesn’t think he can wait any longer. He pats the empty space beside him, trying to get Jaemin to move faster. Jaemin does. He wastes no time sliding himself in beside Jeno and raping his arms around him, pulling Jeno into his body. Jeno feels calm as he feels the steady beat of Jaemin’s heart against his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t believe how long I’ve wanted to be in your arms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh believe me, I’ve wanted this for so long too.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aaah thank you for reading this far!! I really loved this prompt and I am pretty happy with how it came out. It was originally supposed to be half it's current length but here we are ahaha. I hope you liked it and thank you again for reading and for showing it love with kudos and comments, if you do! And a big thank you to the prompter &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>